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Ruiner: Dad in the Spotlight Jan 7th - 11th

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* How was your Day?

Meh, had better, had worse


* If you had to live in another State, where would you live and why?

Does Euphoria count?  If not, then anywhere but California.  I hear a bunch of jerks live there  :taunt


* Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it?

Because it's grape flavor, not grape.  See also, strawberry, watermelon, and root beer flavors


* How would you build a space station that would attract aliens?

I would give it giant green or blue boobs.  Maybe one of each so as not to discriminate


* How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Most of it


* Why doesn't the armpit hair have split ends?

Because I gnaw it off before it gets long enough (I dare you to try the same)


* You and your lady are going to watch a movie, what three (3) types of movies would you choose?

Horror, Comedy, or Action.  She doesn't do my Anime/Sci-Fi, and I don't do her Love Story/Dramas.  It's a mutual agreement.


* At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

All of them.  But I let everyone use the ones beside them


* If you were 11yrs old again, would do anything differently knowing that you'd be married to the girl you shared a first kiss with?

I used to say yes, we shouldn't have had our "break" and gotten together earlier.  After many discussions on the subject though, we decided that we both needed to sow our wild oats and/or be in bad relationships so we could identify and appreciate the one we have now.  So, no, despite the wait, my life is perfect.


* What looks sexy on a woman or a man?

Another woman or man.  You pick which.


* Have you ever gone cow-tipping?

No. Tommy Boy was a misrepresentation of what life in Ohio is like.


* Have you ever posed as a nude model?

Only for my wife. We humped after. It was pretty awesome... the humping


* Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?

More people eat my spit than they realize.  I'm like a spit ninja.


* Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Because parents needed an easy/relatable tune to remember the alphabet to.


* What is your favorite word?

Tie between maladroit and meatus.  PaulMcK is both  :roftl


* What is your least favorite word?

metrosexual.  Also PaulMcK


* Do you scream on roller coasters?

No. You big sissy.


* If today was your last day on Earth and tomorrow aliens were taking you away to travel through space, how would you spend your last day on earth?



* If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?



* If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Because money doesn't grow in them either.  They just store it. 


* If your cush job took away your cush chair, would you still like working there? Be honest.

I would, but furniture aside, my job is far from cush.  It's just not meaningful or physically demanding like most people here.


* Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

Because it is female


* If you had to be an animal for one week, which animal would you choose to be? And what would you do?

I would be a peacock, and then i would kill myself


* Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Yes, because they are actually cookies


* Why are there no size "B" batteries?

Because people would think you had a stutter when you asked where they were in the store


* What was your favorite sitcom growing up?

Night Court.  At first it was just to see Harry Anderson do magic tricks.  As I got older, it was to see Markie Post wearing a tight fitting or low cut top.


* What is your happiest memory?

Obvious answer, marrying my wife and being in the room for my kids' birth


* What favorite food puts you in a great mood?

Nachos/Pizza/Wings any will do


* What music do you listen to the most?

A comedian once said your favorite music is what you were listening to when you lost your virginity.  In this case it's Grunge/Alternative music from the mid-late 90's.


* Give your three (3) favorite songs. Why do you like each one.

I refuse to narrow all songs down to "the" top three; shame on you for asking such a thing.  However, I will pick three "of" my favorites:

Unforgiven III - Metallica

Dead and Bloated - Stone Temple Pilots

Eminem - No Love


* If you still had a VHS Tape Player and one VHS tape, what would it be? And, would you watch it with your significant other?

This actually happened.  The year of the Oliver North trials was a VERY long summer for my sister and I as they were on all three channels.  All we had to watch on TV was Teen Wolf, which was recorded from TV.  We watched it every day, at least once a day, all summer.  My wife would sit through it, but playing on her phone the whole time.


* If you were taught how to play multiplayer match games and be successful, would you?

Yes, but only to be less of a hinderance to my teammates


* What's the name of a video game that you love so much, where's its like diarrhea, you just can't hold it in.

Final Fantasy VI (III in the US).  Also, Skyrim.


* Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

It has nuts... read the ingredients


* If you could safely take a ride in a barrel down Niagara Falls, would you?

No.  I do not fancy not water nor heights


* It is more worthwhile and satisfying to improve the world or appreciate the world?

Improve it you selfish bast4rd


* Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

No, clowns are actually rather tender.  I think it's the make-up


* Whats your favorite horror movie?

Again, I will not choose one over all others, but I saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 at WAY too young of an age.  That messed me up for a while.


* Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Because the  courragation process can not be rounded and still be strong enough to hold a pizza


* If work is so terrific, how come you get paid for it?

It's not.  It pays bills and feeds kids.  I would not go if I didn't have to.


* If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Is this a euphemism for masturbation?  If so, I don't do that any more.  If not, it turns the color of Gargamel's pen!s.


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what color are your panties? :gayfight


Ask your wife.  ZING!


Nah, I'm playing.  The color of your chin.  ZOOM!


Nah, I don't wear any.  ZAPP!


Nah, I wear a red mesh thong... backwards.

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Guest Renovatio 42

:lmao? Great answers!


Which question was your favorite? Which one made you laugh the most?



Sent like a Beast using my Thumbs and Tapatalk

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:lmao? Great answers!


Which question was your favorite? Which one made you laugh the most?



Sent like a Beast using my Thumbs and Tapatalk


on a personal level, I enjoyed thinking about night court and teen wolf the most. To this day my sister and I will call or text the other one when teen wolf is on.

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