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Aftrthought051

Ruiner: Dad in the Spotlight Jan 7th - 11th

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Guest Renovatio 42

Nice going.

Glad you found us. And since you're in the same general are we should have a beer or two sometime.

Keep it comin!

 

Wait....Reno....I'm from Ohio! Round on the ends and high in the middle!

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Tapatalk 2

 

Whhaaaat????!?!?!! Since when? And you're a decent guy. Maybe you were imported. :lmao2

 

 

Sent like a Beast using my Thumbs and Tapatalk

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Guest Renovatio 42

I'll download all the DLC tonight, I'm down to play. I'm actually itching to play some BL2!

 

For the record, I never said that i didn't like Ohioans but for years I've never got along with the ones I've been introduced to. There's been one exception & he lives on west coat now. I've told you that and if you want more details, it's beers at tilted kilt!

 

 

Sent like a Beast using my Thumbs and Tapatalk

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Dividing this into two parts since the one has an impact on the other.

 

Growing up – I grew up in a log cabin off a dirt road in southeastern Ohio.  In one direction, about two miles down the road, was an Amish family.  A half mile the other direction was an old farmer who was notorious for always wearing the same thing, year round; cowboy boots, dirty pants, red suspenders, no shirt and a shotgun at his side.  Also, he had a pet peacock named Oscar that would terrorize my sister and I on days it felt adventurous enough to walk to our land (to this day I still get uneasy around the sight or sound of a peacock). The closest store with a gallon of milk or loaf of bread was a good 25 minute drive.

 

Growing up, it was pretty much family, or no one, as the Amish kids weren’t allowed to play with us.  At the time, it was me, my older sister, my mom and dad.  My dad was not a good one, though he also didn’t have much of a role model to follow; its an explanation, not an excuse.  To this day I have no idea who my paternal grandfather is; my dad supposedly knows, but he refuses to speak about it.

 

My dad didn’t hit any of us or anything like that, he just wasn’t into being a father, literally or figuratively.  He didn’t plan on/want me or my sister, and he expected my mother to do everything when it came to us, and she did.  He would work during the week, and would spend the weekends playing softball, or on the couch cursing at the Browns.  If the Browns lost, which they often did, we all knew to give him a wide berth for the rest of that day and possibly part of the next.  Again, he wasn’t abusive, just apathetic to having a family.

 

I’m sure you’ve guessed where this was headed, but my parents divorced when I was about 8.  He let mom keep “his house” since she was obviously getting custody of me and my sister, though in his defense he did actually build most of it. So we went from being moderately poor to very poor with my mom working to support us on a single income.  It was not a pretty divorce, they argued a lot before, during and after, and it was hard for my sister and I to watch, because again, we were fairly isolated from the world.  It was then I decided that when I grew up, I was going to get married to the right person for the right reasons and I was never going to make my kids feel or experience anything like what we went through.

 

About five years later both of my parents remarried other people.  The man my mother married, wasn’t much better than my own father at being a dad, and because his job paid way more than my mom’s, we ended up moving away when I was 13 due to his company relocating.  Aside from resenting him for that, he also thought parenting was about controlling and being a dictator as opposed to a guide or friend, so about five years after that my mom left him too, though for other reasons that aren’t relevant here.

 

A few years after that mom met another guy, complete loser again, but this one came with a twist.  He got my mom pregnant, which was supposed to have been impossible after she had her tubes tied after I was born, and then unsuccessfully untied 15 years later.  If you weren’t keeping track, I would be 20 at this point and living at home while going to college.  So, I have a new baby sister and not long after that her worthless sperm donor leaves.

 

She is a great kid and watching and helping her to grow up was great “daddy training wheels” for me.  She has had some challenges of course, and I’m sure you can imagine how three failed marriages has messed with my mom’s head over the years.  Mom was still adamant though about making sure I still had time for school and a social life when I wanted, and she never "made" me help with raising/watching my sister; of course I often volunteered though.

 

However, it's usually the two of them against the world these days, and I am proud of them for managing how they have.  In fact, my little sister was recently chosen as a spotlighted member on her online school for her artwork, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.  If you have any kids near her age (pre/early teen), you might want to check out the below.

 

http://video.ecottv.com/V71ZRKTa

 

 

Grown Up

I have a 3.5 year-old daughter, Ava, and a 16 month old son, Xavier.  I’ve been married for almost 5 years, but we have actually known each other since I was about 11.  She is the first girl I ever kissed, and hopefully will be the last.  We haven’t been together for that entire time, as we had kind of an on again, off again thing from 13-16, as young kids do.  But we were lucky enough to run into each other again in about 2006, and I’m thankful everyday for the person she is and the life we have made together. Pics as evidence are HERE.

 

We compliment each other in almost every way, from our personalities, to our preference in wings (she gets the wings, I get the drummies).  We are that couple who completes each others sentences, but usually don’t even need to vocalize what the other one is saying or thinking because it’s already known.  She is the perfect wife, and that is largely because she is the perfect mother to my children.  She works nights as a nurse, and I work my day job so we don’t have to have child-care.  This is a personal decision we made, as well as a financial one, that means we often pass each other in the doorway as one of us is coming home from work just in time for the other one to go in.  Add to that she often works weekends, when I am off, and you get the perfect "absence makes the heart grow fonder" marriage, which might play a part in why we do get along so well.  Since she also has the kids in the day, this also means she often goes 36 hours or more with at best a 2 hour nap, and she never complains about it.  She truly is my best friend.

 

My daughter is hitting her stride in her terrible two’s/three’s.  Her most prominent traits, which is her mother’s temper and independence, are constantly on display at our house, say and night.  However, with that also comes the times where she’ll ask “Dada, will you read me Cinderella?” as she’s already climbed up on my lap and is in the process of covering us both up with a pink blanket (that has to be just right).  I thought I knew a lot about parenting from being around my younger sister… Ava makes sure to remind me that I don’t know as much as I think I do.

 

My son is big.  I have no idea why as I am only 5’6 and my wife is even shorter, but he is big.  He was born at 10 lbs, 5 oz according to the scales in the delivery room when he was born.  However, it must have been broken because he weighed in at 10 lbs, 10 oz almost 24 hours later.  Since babies lose their first day, and he wasn’t really eating anything yet, he was probably close to 11 lbs at birth, but we’ll never know.  At 16 months he can not wear anything that is 24 months in size, and some of his 2T clothes are already getting snug.  I was one of the bigger kids in my class when I was growing up, but I stopped growing in the 3rd grade.  I’m hoping that’s not what this is, as we could use an all-star linebacker in the family.  He just started walking recently, and hasn’t really started talking yet, though he also has displayed some telltale signs of his mother’s patience (or lack thereof), so things should be very interesting (not quiet ever) in my house in about a year.

 

My older sister lives down the block and has 3 biological and 2 step kids.  Due to our schedules, we don't see each other as much as we would like, but anytime something is needed, from a cup of sugar, to an emergency babysitter, we are almost always there for each other.

 

So, I am the father I am today because of the father I never had.  I may not be perfect, but I think being able to learn from someone else's mistakes has allowed me to be a better man in general.

 

As with before, questions are welcome.  :happyyes

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Where in southeastern Ohio? I only ask as I spent some time outside of Byesville when I was in high school. I'm sure we probably know the same state routes. I kind of grew up on those dirt roads.

 

Oh yeah...and what Nitro said. Lol.

 

Sent from my DERPA DERPA DERPA, BEOTCH!

 

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Wow man.  OK, I've said there are two kinds of people in this world.  Person A gets raised in a sh***y environment and/or sees abuse and such and thinks this is the "norm".  Whether subconsciously or consciously, they become the same parent figure they despised as a child.  Person B, you, sees fu**ed up things in their youth and realize that is NOT how I am going to be when I grow up.  In a way, it does prepare you because you see how NOT to act.  To do the exact opposite when raising your own kids and such.  I do feel sorry for your mom though.  Like you said, the three marriages has got to put a strain on her.  Where is your mom?  You say your sister doesn't live too far from you, but just curious where your mom is now and how old is your youngest sister?

 

Kids can always be the opposite of their kids.  My dad is 5'5" and my mom is around 5'7" and I tower over both of them.  You probably have the same thing going right now with your son.  Haha.

 

I know what you mean about your daughter.  Mine does the same thing.  She loves her mom, but she loves daddy too, and at the end of the day, that's what is the biggest reward.  That she does come to you, and curl up with you, and want you to read to her.  Look forward to the rest of the week.

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Guest McGeekinator

great write up, great read, great first two days.

 

regarding the friends (or lack off) i understand completely. last real friend i had to hang out with was.. 7 years ago. saw him for the first time thursday just gone since then. distance means it will be a rare meet up but joys of FB and online gaming means we can try stay in touch - even if scarce. why i love this site so much :2thumbs may not be local but there is always someone (even if its Linford :lol) to talk too :taunt

 

looking forward to getting to know more about you :2thumbs !!

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