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Hapa_Fodder

"Enjoy your Retirement"

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Something people say to you all the time.  Something that you hear repeatedly the months prior and many times after.  The truth? I didn't want to retire.  I would have stayed to 30 if I could physically do it.  But between chronic physical pains, and if we are honest with ourselves, the depression and loneliness of being single after a divorce that pretty much left me empty, I COULDN'T do it anymore. I couldn't continue to press forward as I did the last couple years.  I had kids that worked for me, or as I say WITH me, that cried when I retired, that call me "Dad." They've become my new kids. Everyone has their own struggle, every veteran goes through this a lill differently.  I would never tell my closest vet friends that I'm going through this.  One particularly, the family that I am currently residing with till I find my own way, I think would push too hard.  I have never been one to be pushed, persuaded or maybe shown a way? Sure. I do miss the guys and gals I served with, honestly some of the finest human beings you could ever meet, and I don't just mean that because they serve, but because many of us in the military get a way of being instilled in us, I think, it makes us better people.

For me I have steps I need to make, things that I had to get done in the order I want to get them done.

1: Get my child support sorted and straightened out(I was too nice to her when I was active). This has been accomplished.

2: Get enrolled and rolling in college and get "My Post 9/11 Forever MGIB" money rolling in.  I have started this but it has BLOWN MY MIND that it seems that people aren't that helpful to try to educate or tell a vet what they need to do, or that no "list" of things that need to be accomplished really exists.  In an analytical life its a chaotic means of handling business...

3: Get my own place.  I would like to, ya know, FINALLY buy, and there are a lot of properties here for the taking...  however, just having my own apartment would be nice... I feel like that random dude that lives in the garage right now....

4: RELAX.....  good god, I have been telling myself this and trying for so long.  My 7800 mile road trip helped with that immensely.  For those that have followed me and met me, I appreciated that.

One thing that I have done is turned to Content Creation, so far really only with World of Warships.  Making video's, I created a "Hapa_Fodder Community Page" on FB, have a Twitch channel, stream just about every night.  Have created video's on YouTube, I think I have about 18 now. It's kept my mind busy, this I think is important, I'm finding that I am not dwelling on things so much.

I keep getting asked "when are you going to find someone to settle down with?"  My answer is always the same, "never," I have been single for 8 years now, I have dated a lot of women in that time, had my fun, had 1 serious relationship in there.  But TBH for me, today, a woman is just another thing I have to stress over and I'm not trying to do any of that.  The line: "it'll happen when it happens," cracks me up, because that isn't true. And I don't care anymore.

I will say this, I appreciate the Hideout. I joined WAY back in like 2005 I think, maybe 2004... I don't remember now...  Playing WoT.  And TBH the Hideout got me through my deployments and her cheating and my divorce...  Lot's of rants, I have and I am not going to lie over the course of the last 4 years though thought that I don't belong here anymore as I do not have a relationship with my children.  That's just been another thing I have been grappling with...

Anyways, that's my rant....

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Hey man, for streaming, can you stream in the day? If you enroll in school, great, but here's my thing. All the top streamers are the ones streaming during the day. Why? Probably because people are like me, stuck in work during the day and typically watching streamers. Very few American or even American speaking streamers during the day. Most are foreigners because it is their night-time. I don't think other countries are as big a consumer of the streamers as the West is. That's just my take and current observation. Best of luck and yeah, enjoy that retirement because I want you to have a blast. I want it to be the best thing ever because when I finally get there, that's what I expect.

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1 hour ago, Aftrthought051 said:

Hey man, for streaming, can you stream in the day? If you enroll in school, great, but here's my thing. All the top streamers are the ones streaming during the day. Why? Probably because people are like me, stuck in work during the day and typically watching streamers. Very few American or even American speaking streamers during the day. Most are foreigners because it is their night-time. I don't think other countries are as big a consumer of the streamers as the West is. That's just my take and current observation. Best of luck and yeah, enjoy that retirement because I want you to have a blast. I want it to be the best thing ever because when I finally get there, that's what I expect.

Well I plan on streaming around my class schedule TBH....  it'll be what I do in between classes and homework and such.

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American speaking streamers

Lol you kill me FOTFLMAO.

Just to be off topic and still relevant.

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