ThatRandomJanitor

One day Jack comes home to find his wife, Theresa, on the couch curled up to a little kitten. Jack asks "what the hell?" his wife looks back and says "it was so cute I had to have it!" With displeasure Jack didn't say another word. After a few weeks later Theresa comes home to find Jack curled up on the couch with another woman. "What the hell?" exclaims Theresa. "Just brought home some cute p***y like you did!" replies Jack.

Depends on how old the girl is. Hell I'd probably crack em' open a cold one and high five him.

Whats are your goals for 2019? Mine include... Paying off ankle biter debts Cash flowing remodel for upstairs bathroom Finish Diploma for accounting Pass Bookkeepers tests

What if a woman is in the wife zone, you marry her and then she goes to the NO GO Zone?

For years on end Jim worked 7 days a week. On his so called vocations Jim's wife kept him busy along with the kids. A few weeks before Jim's next week off he tells his wife he wants to go on a trip alone. His wife being protective instantly says no. Jim knowing he needs some time off from work and family knows he needs to do something to get away so he comes up with a plan. On his first day of vocation Jim goes into a mental health center and requests a mental evaluation. While in the waiting room Jim randomly starts talking to himself. He literally starts to ask himself questions and responds! About 15 minutes into this Jim is taken back and put into a straight jacket. Now Jim gets to enjoy a week away from home in a nut house with three meals a day and all clothing provided away from his wife and kids! Smart man!

I was in JROTC as well. Wish the instructors would of mentioned them. Great post!

2nd orange and both of the moderns for my vote

Now what does a remanufactored vacuum and a divorced woman have in common? They both suck better than what they used too

What does a broken vacuum and a wife have in common? they both stop sucking

Yep. Been awhile since I've adopted anything. The old guns are getting lonely...

Entered to win as well https://wn.nr/AypshA

No love for Weezer's version?

LMAO!

Not a damn clue on what they said but by the looks of it some @$$ was about to be put into shape or mounted to the wall.