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thedakar last won the day on September 21

thedakar had the most liked content!

About thedakar

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    DHO Member
  • Birthday 04/13/1985


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  1. thedakar


    I agree with Aftr on this part. Unresolved trauma is still trauma. We have no issue when a person gets stitches for a deep physical cut, but we never make the same connection with potentially deep emotional trauma. If she has faced such things, trying to add "new dimensions" to a relationship is doomed to failure. Long term, even if there are no "new dimensions" added, the trauma remains unresolved, and that hurts your wife and by extension your family. From a "life coaching" standpoint (this is a stab in the dark - take with a bucket of salt) there has been a breach of trust in your relationship. The breach may be "perceived" (no physical actions occurred) but it is no less damaging to trust. I know - I breached the trust in my relationship (without any physical events) a few years ago and realized how much I hurt my wife. I took every opportunity (and continue) to find ways to repair that trust, and I am still working on it. Repairing that trust is critical - but it may take a while; you are allowed to feel hurt, to be distrustful, to be angry! You are not allowed to be an poopchute, as that removes the foundation AND (perhaps more importantly) demonstrates a horrible path to your children. If you can show your wife that your trust has been broken, you can suggest couples counseling AND you can suggest individual counseling. Her responses will illuminate your path. I am also well aware that "counseling" is expensive! There are many "self-guided" books that are designed for couples. You could give them a shot to see if either of you are even receptive to the sort of stuff that counseling will delve into. I tell your friend that you are uncomfortable with any contact between him and your spouse - let him know you expect him to not make any contact moving forward. No threats, no demands; a true friend with your best interests at heart will support YOU. If he complains or asks "before we make any decisions, what does (wife) think?" cut him loose; he has ulterior concerns. Best of luck.
  2. Dads, I will be moving to a new place Wednesday - I am expecting to have interenet same day BUT just in case, expect me to be offline for a week from 26 Sept. If you have any immediate admin or help related needs, please contact @xJediDadx
  3. if you still are having issues on discord, hit one of us up here and we will work to get you fixed up. Sorry for the issues!
  4. thedakar


    Rules and stuff: Each dad can "enter" 3 times - be a Patreon SUpporter, use the forum, use Discord! A dad can only win one of the cards - if they draw two, they choose which they want and the other will be redrawn. If a winning dad declines the gift card, the money will be saved for the next event (to be in OCTOBER! WOOT WOOT!) rather than be redrawn. Winners will be announced to the Forum once all have been drawn, contacted and accepted. If drawn, the winner will be contacted by forum, discord and email (as applicable) and will have 7 days from date of contact to respond or prize will be redrawn. If second winner is unable to be reached, the money will be saved for the next event rather than be redrawn. Good luck!
  5. You guys are amazing - we are just ONE DOLLAR SHORT of our $50 goal for Patreon! When we hit $50 we will be doing a giveaway - I will be doing a drawing for One $20 and TWO $15 Amazon Gift Cards! One forum user AND one discord user who has visited or used the Forum or Discord between Sept 1 and Oct 1 will be entered to win! Additionally, one Patreon dad will be chosen at random to receive a $20 Amazon Gift Card! You read that right, DHO is doing giveaways again! Thanks again dads - without you, this wouldn't be possible! https://www.patreon.com/dadshideout
  6. thedakar

    How to Discord video

    looks good - that covers the "basics" and anything else would be a more advanced topic that doesn't need to be in a "welcome" message. I have no other suggestions.
  7. Just wanted to keep everyone up to date on Discord work: At this time only the Admins have any moderator rights - if you need something fixed, moved, or changed, just type @ Admin (in Discord) and we will give you a hand. To invite people to our discord, please use this invite code: discord.gg/YKpADaU New users will be dropped into a Welcome channel where they can assign themselves the first role or either Dad or DHO Guest. From there, dads will be able to move to assign roles and get all that stuff set up. You are welcome to invite guests to the server with the above code, but the guest MUST assign themselves the DHO Guest Role. If they do not, or if they need help, just get an @Admin to help out! No worries! DHO Guests will be restricted to only a few voice channels - Gaming 1, Tanks and Chill, and Warships Battle Chat. If you need a channel added or removed (or if new dad or guest needs help) - that's right - @Admin for assistance! More to come as we finish up all the modifications.
  8. thedakar

    Discord Overlay

    @Vinsent - hit me up if you are still having issues and I would be happy to give a hand
  9. thedakar

    Should I go PT jobs to switch careers?

    So many factors to unpack, but lets see if I can be helpful - It seems you WANT to move toward accountant of some sort, so anything you can do to build experience (even volunteering as treasurer with say the boy scouts) helps build legit experience in that field. If you can do part time it helps even more so. Do you have a decent relationship with the manager at the driving job? Ask them if it would be possible to move to PT and what that would look like. When asked why, you could be semi-honest and say you are looking to commit more time to going to school. If you have a good relationship, explain the full reason why - they may be more likely to work with you if you have been an otherwise good employee. If they are act negatively, then you need to double down on getting your accounting certs and get the hell out of there! Are you on linked in? That is where I would go to seek expert advice. Get on linked in and make contact with other accountants and ask them what they recommend for getting into the field - any recommended site for entry-level jobs/ job advice boards/ man, if I had only know stories/ build relationships - they unveil opportunities!
  10. thedakar

    Welcome FlaccidUnicorn

    sorry, for some reason this got locked - fixed it!
  11. thedakar

    Thinking of getting a new desk top

    I don't see any issues with the items you chose - that should work just fine! When you make the purchase and start putting everything together, make sure you understand "grounding" and good "build procedures" to prevent causing damage while you assemble! I would note: make sure you understand how air is going to flow inside the computer! Where does the CPU fan blow (and where does it get air from?) as you want to try to help the hot air out and cool air to the "intake." What's the flow of the power supply? I had to replace my power supply last year - the fan was backward compared to the replacement. I had to reconsider which way my case fans were pointed for better flow. Watch out for cable spaghetti - if you have a bunch of cables all over the place or in a bundle that will hurt airflow - and collect more dust! And as has been said before - check youtube videos for how to and such!
  12. thedakar

    HP Battery Issues

    I found this: http://support.hp.com/in-en/product/HP-OMEN-15-5200-Notebook-PC/8499271/model/9054446/document/c04700771/ Might help fix the new battery issue?
  13. thedakar


    what mods are you running @Airbornebob? I like the look of your layout!
  14. thedakar

    SUPPLY LINES! 1st Fleet.

    SO I took a quick look at the stats: 2433 teams that participated scored at least one point, and DHO was number #230 overall, which means DHO was top 10%! WOOT! In that round we were ~#210 by my count - so not a bad showing for a bunch of "casual" players!
  15. thedakar

    SUPPLY LINES! 1st Fleet.

    ★115 NA [D-H-O] VS EU [DE-FS] ★99